“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”
― Seth Godin

“Art is what we call… the thing an artist does. It’s not the medium or the oil or the price or whether it hangs on a wall or you eat it. What matters, what makes it art, is that the person who made it overcame the resistance, ignored the voice of doubt and made something worth making. Something risky. Something human. Art is not in the … eye of the beholder. It’s in the soul of the artist.”
― Seth Godin

“An artist is someone who uses bravery, insight, creativity, and boldness to challenge the status quo. And an artist takes it personally.”
― Seth Godin

“The secret to being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong! The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn’t fatal.”
― Seth Godin

“It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
― Carl Sagan

HEY!! I AM LOOKING AT YOU!! THAT’S WHO!! LOLOLOLOLOL

If you are reading this then you have survived Covid -19 so far!! And so have I!! That is a very, very, very good thing for both of us. Therefore life continues to be good and I cannot complain too much at the moment. Looking at the numbers during the first week of October, the USA was still adding 30 to over 40 thousand new cases each day. Total deaths were 215,000 with Texas, Florida, and California leading the way. Texas had moved into second place, right above New Jersey, for the highest number of deaths – so far. Just around 16,500. Texas was also right behind California for the most number of cases too. But by the middle of October the numbers had changed and Texas is now leading the nation in total number of cases.

National new case count for October 16th was 71,000 cases in a single day. And this was just the start, by the end of the month we were putting in 60 to over 80 thousand new cases each day. My guess is, this is the start of the third wave. Or maybe, we really have not gone down to zero so is it the third peak? Either way…WOW but not in a good way.

The numbers as of October 29th, 2020, we were over 9 million known cases of Covid, with 234,000 deaths. Unreal! In less than 30 days we have added almost 20,000 new deaths again?! This has been the tally for several months in a row now… Crazy. I am wondering where we will be on December 31st? Oh well, we are in the “churn” now…

If you want to see the numbers yourself check out this link: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

When I started writing this post the Cameron Peak Fire was at 125,000 acres. Unfortunately it has continued to burn off and on during the month. We did get a little rain and snow in the mountains around the middle of October which helped. But it was not enough. The winds picked up again and the fire exploded on it Southern Border. Burning to within 5 to 10 miles of Loveland and Fort Collins. In an abundance of caution, and rightly so, the powers that be closed all of the National Forests from the Wyoming border to basically Denver.

The fire is now the largest in state history at 208,000 acres. Even though where I live in Fort Collins was not burning, the air quality has been terrible at times due to the smoke. I cannot tell you how much I have appreciated the use of the real time air quality map provided by Purple Air. If you have not gone to this web site you need to, especially if you play a lot in the outdoors. I do not have my own sensor to monitor air quality yet, but I do plan to buy one later this year. Check out their web site: https://www2.purpleair.com/

As if the Cameron Peak Fire was not enough, the East Troublesome Fire, which started on October 14th, blew up so to speak on October 22nd and has now burned 192,000 acres West of Rocky Mountain National park. Unfortunately this includes homes that were part of the town of Grand Lake. Both of these fires are the largest in Colorado state history. How crazy is that??

Oh well what are you going to do? At this point I am not sure what the plan will be for me this winter as far as outdoor activity. I want to take the dog and do some back country skiing but Cameron Pass was my place to go. At least for now it has not burned on the West side of the pass and there are ski trails there too. So as soon as the road reopens later this year that may be my best option without having to drive the I25 / I70 corridor. Or maybe it will be time to head North again, into Wyoming. Of course this is after the Mullen Fire dies back with the arrival of snow. Time will tell. I am hoping that once the smoke clears, the trail running closer to Fort Collins will be doable again by the end of October.

At least we got a great shot of snow and rain over the weekend of the 24th and 25th of October. This did not put the fires out but it did put a significant damper on them. Even if it is only temporary. Mother nature is going to have her way. And with our continued short sighed “nonbelief” in “global warming,” my guess is this is just the tip of the iceberg of what awaits us in the future. I find it incredibly ironic that we have an immense “fusion reactor” in our solar system called the “sun” and we do not make the most of it. Oh but the hubris of humankind.

I know that after the fires are put out and the damage assessed there will be a lot of finger pointing and discussion around why this occurred in the first place. In my humble opinion and others, there were a few things that helped to make this fire season a very destructive one. The first thing I think you have to understand is that Colorado had a unpresented infestation of Pine Bark Beetles that started in the mid 1990s. That was caused by 25 years of gradual warming and drought in the mountains. Each year being a little above average in temperature with a gradual decrease in overall moisture. This significantly stressed the trees causing them to become very vulnerable to the beetles. It left millions and millions of dead trees before it ran its course. Fast forward to this year, you have unusually dry conditions along with gusty winds and the dead trees. Voila -there you have it. A recipe for disaster… A good link to read more about this: https://storymaps.arcgis.com/collections/21fd50c4ef904bb0a6ad7d1c514417c5?item=1 It is a very good article helping to explain why Colorado “burned.”

The thing to remember is that this is not just a Colorado problem but a North American problem due to a warming and dryer environment in the Western US. The second part of the fire issue for Colorado and other parts of the country is that you have a lot more people moving into areas that did not have permanent human habitation until recently. Think last 30 years. And some of these areas burn ever so often as part of the natural ecology of the forest. Even without the global warming and drought.

Of course there are others reasons, but I think these two are the big ones. Neither one has an easy solution. My guess is if you are going to continue to live in these areas, especially now that CO2 levels have skyrocketed, you might as well expect it and plan for it.

If you want to learn more about the Cameron Peak fire and the East Troublesome Fire check out this web site: https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/

Well on to other things. Enough of Covid and Forest fires. Time for something better. Besides writing a blog, I have been writing a personal journal consistently now for almost 9 years. November 1st, 2020 will be that anniversary and what an inner journey it has been. By consistently I mean “every day” without fail. Some days it is only half of a page, on other days it is more than three pages. I used to think that I would run out of stuff to write about, but that has not been the case. If anything the list of topics has become more diverse. I found, I had to get “through” some of the superficial stuff, before I could get to the deeper substance. My journal is one that will never be read except by me so all the topics are fair game. Nothing is held sacred. Nothing is held back. It is a writing that is an exploration of the “self.” Good things as well as all the bad. Especially all the bad, everything the lizard brain has to say, but does not want to say it. And some days it scares me.

In keeping the journal, I have learned more about myself than I knew was possible. Some topics were incredibly difficult to write about. Even though I knew no one would read it. Other times it was just the surface stuff for the coming day at hand. Things that I wanted to remind myself of needing to get done but were not all that pressing. One of the surprising realizations that became apparent over the years were “subjects” that I thought I had covered ad nauseam, would suddenly pop back up without warning showing even deeper layers of meaning. Like fractal geometry the patterns just continued to repeat. Out of all of this, there were a few truths that I have learned. And I would like to share a few with you.

Number one: Anger. We have all experienced it in the present, but some of us have a lot of it “stored” from our past. Matter of fact if you are someone that gets angry very easily, then I would hazard a guess to say that you probably have some repressed anger. That was my experience and until I faced issues from the past, it drove my life at times. It was miserable for me and those around me. It is a wonder that more of us do not have criminal records because of an anger issue. Lol. When I started to journal I would not have thought that anger would keep coming up like it did. Over and over again and again. It got so bad at times I would have to stop writing, take a break, and come back to it. Or I would finish a section of writing and reread it and think “where the hell did that come from?” Lol. It can even be a little scary, but no worries, that is why the “journal no one reads but you” is such a great tool. It allows the exploration of deep seated anger without the fear that people will just not understand your feelings. And your right, they would not understand because it is personnel to you. Henceforth the “journal that no one reads” but you. I found that my anger had become like supple leather gloves or a cloak, so smooth, so soft that I did not know I had them on. It was the journaling that helped me to peal layer, after layer, after layer off. Sometimes it was very painful, like pealing off an old scab, but so freeing once it was gone. The journaling can provide a safe but extremely powerful catharsis when dealing with repressed emotions like anger.

Number two: “You have all that you need.” When you get right down to it most of us have all that we need. Let me say that again. We have all that we need. Especially in a first world country like the USA. I have found that I have to remind myself of this everyday. Especially with all the adds from TV, the internet, magazines, newspaper, catalogs, etc… We live in a very consumeristic society. There is always someone out there that is trying to get you to buy “more” stuff. The adds are selling “dissatisfaction” and “desire” at the same time. If you have never been to a large active landfill it is worth a trip to see the mounds and mounds of “stuff” that was once some ones desire and now their dissatisfaction. I could make this one truth the topic of several blog post, but I will leave it for now with one quote and a link to the Minimalist web site: https://www.theminimalists.com/

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

Number Three: “The things that we fear the most are the things that we most need to do.” Be honest with yourself, how many times have you not tried something because you fear it, for whatever reason. The fear of failure, the fear of not being able to handle it, the fear of loss, the fear of losing control, the fear of rejection, the fear of death, etc… All the “what ifs” that your mind can come up with. While journaling I was able to explore my fears and why I had them. It is not a quick fix, but over time I found, just like with anger, there were layers. The writing let me explore and peal off those layers one at a time.

“Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain.” – Mark Twain

During this process of writing I came to the realization that the essential cause of our suffering, anxiety and fear is ignorance of the nature of reality, and our need for craving and clinging to illusion.

The reality is we are all going to die at some point. The illusion is that it will never happen to me. Death is an inevitable outcome. It will not matter what clothing you wear. Who your parents were. What car you drive. What schools you attended. How much money you made. What mythology you worshiped. We are going to lose every thing that we have ever loved, hated, owned or desired. Nothing is here to stay, not even the earth beneath your feet. And once you understand this realization fully, at your core, the illusion is shattered and your perception changes.

I would like to think that I have conquered all my fears but that would be telling myself and you dear reader a lie. After all, we are all here, on this earth, at this time, because our ancestors going back a few million years were very good at survival. And they were very good at survival because of their lizard brain. I work with my lizard brain on this subject every single day. Lol.

This realization on death and fear felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Or that is how it was with me and writing helped me to come to this realization. Let me be clear, danger is very, very real. But the fear is a choice, consciously or unconsciously. It is all in our minds based on our thoughts and feelings about events that may or may not ever happen. The lizard brain trying to keep you safe anyway it can.

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” – Charles Bukowski

All right, that is about it for me on this Blog Post. I have more “truths” that have come out of the journaling but I will save them for another day. On the next blog I will try to have a few more book reviews and such.

One last thing before I go about fear. I am not talking about true phobias, but ordinary fears. If you have a true phobia, journaling can help but it is not a substitute for professional guidance.

So take care my friends and remember to wash your hands, wear your mask when in crowds or indoors and practice physical distancing. AND VOTE like your life depends on it. Because it probably does… Adios!!

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous…, leading to the most amazing views.” Edward Abbey