“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all this to happen: Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” Pema Chodron
“…anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without a reference point, experiences groundlessness. That’s when our understanding goes deeper, when we find the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place… completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time.” Pema Chodron
“To be fully alive, fully human and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no man’s land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” Pema Chodron
Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads out there!! Damn it has been a good couple of weeks. Great running in FoCo and the weather here on the Front Range has finally decided to stay warm for a bit . A plus to all this is I have had the luxury of staying part of this last week in Summit County. While some of the really high trails are not clear yet for hiking or running due to snow, the rest of the terrain around Breckenridge has been fantastic. I really, really should not complain!! Life is good!! Lol
In this blog I thought I would include a few quotes from Pema Chodron. They are from her book called “When Things Fall Apart.” I believe that these are timeless truths that echo a lot of what the Author Brene Brown talks about when she speaks of the power of vulnerability. I read the book from Pema a few years ago when it first came out, once as an audio book and once as an e-book. I felt that strongly about it. The thing that I have found interesting about the book is how the messages she lays out keep coming up over and over again and again. Or at least they do for me. Especially the first quote about how things come together and then fall apart. Nothing is truly “fixed” in life and for those of us that have a little trouble with change this can be very hard. It has helped me to see that there are no absolutes in life. That there are many, many shades of black and white. And that it is OK.
Things come together and they fall apart and come together again and fall apart again. Whether it be families or vacations, jobs, buying a house or not buying a house, births, deaths, events, parties, the list could just go on and on and on. In my opinion that is just the way life works. One of the tricks to working with this fact, I think, is to just show up. Put the fear aside of what might or might not happen and just show up. Sometimes things will work out and sometimes they don’t but you will never know if you don’t show up. Just that simple. You have to show up. And I remind myself of this as I write. Part of the plan for being up in Summit county this weekend was to run the Leadville Trail Marathon. That was the plan. And I did NOT show up. Talked myself right out of it… Now I have to ask myself. What was that about?? Was it the weather forecast? It was suppose to rain and be cold all day. Was it the fear of not finishing? I had trained quit a bit this year and put in more running miles than I did by this time last year. Was it just fear in general? I always have a little underlying anxiety anytime I plan to run a race. This is nothing new.
Or was it just a combination of all the above? I don’t know for sure but I have been in this situation before and I do know the solution no matter what the reason is. You just have to SHOW UP. Just that simple but OH so hard at times. All I needed to do was just show up and it would have all worked out.
It turned out the weather was fantastic, at least on the Breckinridge side. A few afternoon showers but very nice otherwise. Sure it is never easy running 26 miles at elevation but I had trained for it. You just have to see past the anxiety and fear and just show up. For whatever reason, this year I did not do that. And it is hard to admit this, but the “what ifs” got the better of me. Oh well you live and learn. On the plus side I did get to spend a fantastic day with Janet and Marvin. Things come together and they fall apart but not always as you might expect……
Well that is going to be about it for me on this blog post. I hope everyone had a great two weeks and I hope to see you out there on the trails, whether it be biking, hiking, running, or just plain walking!! Adios amigos!!