Well it’s has been a good week. Lots of resting and waiting and wondering what ifs!!?? The Quad Rock 50 is on Saturday. Did I do enough training, did I do enough specific training… hill work, long steady distance, Aerobic Threshold, Lactate Threshold, and Aerobic Capacity, etc.…. Did I do enough so that I can finish?? Again, I think back to the Ajahn Brahm quote:
“Doing a task is usually easy. Thinking about a task makes it hard.”
So true and add to this the weather change that could be an issue on Saturday AM. Colder and wet? 10 days ago, the forecast was going to be 75 degrees and dry, but now as the time approaches it looks like the best models show a low in the 40s with a high in the 50s and rain? Oh well at least it will be cool but I would prefer not to run in the rain. The muddy trails add some issues but I think this is something to get use to. The unpredictable nature of Ultra Running in the mountains. I do know that once I am doing it……then all this thinking, thinking, thinking and more thinking becomes academic… I am out there doing it.
One of the books that I have read this year is by Matt Fitzgerald called RUN – The Mind-Body Method of RUNNING BY FEEL. I liked the book a lot. For me there were some very useful sections. Chapter 10 was one those. It is titled Anger, Fear, and Speed. Specifically, it was the section that talked about the “Fear of Failure” and the anxiety that it induces. I used to think that the anxiety I experienced days before an event was a bad thing. I would spend countless hours in the days leading up to an event trying to find ways of lessening the anxiety. Not really facing it. And the anxiety would get worse, to the point that I would talk myself out of running. Even after spending countless hours training and planning.
Matt helped me to see the anxiety from an Existentialist view. It is just a symptom or sign that you are challenging yourself. The anxiety is about you pushing yourself into this situation. It is a call to work through the anxiety, fully embracing it, instead of taking the easy way out and just trying to make it go away. By facing the anxiety, the challenge of the race, the pain, you strengthen the core of who you are. It is a chance to step up to what sounds impossible, run 50 miles in my case, and make it possible. The opportunity to move beyond where you are now and become who you see yourself as being. To become more authentic so to speak. And you do this by facing the anxiety, struggling with the anxiety, wrestling with it, and in the end make your decision to race. Success or failure, win or lose, does not really matter, it is that you went to the “abyss” and returned a different person.
You can find the book at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/RUN-Mind-Body-Method-Running-Feel/dp/1934030570
On another note I have been working on getting the garden planted. Always a little iffy at this time of year. Colorado weather this time of year can be a little schizophrenic. Warm and dry one day and cold and snow the next. Last year we had a late spring snow. That caused me to have to replant a lot of things. Usually if the forecast is good through Mother’s Day then you are good to go. Last year I believe it was after Mother’s Day that it snowed. I am risking it again this year but except for the rain and cold on Saturday it seems that the temps will stay above freezing.
Tomatoes and peppers
Strawberries
Blueberries
Raspberries
Blackberries – hard to see them with all the other vegetation.
I moved all of the garden plants to the front yard this year. Not enough sun in the backyard when the Ash tree is all leafed out. So hopefully we will get a good crop of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and strawberries. I also planted several raspberry bushes and black berry bushes. So, it will be interesting to see how it all grows this year.
More peppers with cucumbers and lavender and you can just barely see catnip.
I did plant more lavender this year to attract more bees and winged insects. The catnip plant is coming back with force again this year. I had to prune it back multi times last summer.
The Yarrow and Russian Sage is starting out nicely too.
Well that is the start of the garden this year. As things progress or not I will post more photos. I am hoping that I can coax it along and get a pretty good crop. Now I know it is a lot easier to just go to “Whole Paycheck” or one of the Farmer Markets in Fort Collins to get vegetables. But there is something satisfifying about growing your own food. My parents for several years had a garden and I remember picking peas and green beans as a kid. Maybe that is part of the draw? I am not sure. Or maybe it is just my way of being different… putting it in the front yard for all to see?? Never liked mowing grass and if I could I would cover the entire yard with raised garden beds. I am sure that the homeowners association would love that… Oh well I think that is it for me this time. See ya next Friday.
One last picture….How I feel about running right now!!
